Brian, Dress Sizes, and Small-minded Men Who Have Lost the Plot
Updated: Jan 28
This is a story about small-minded men who have lost the plot (and if we’re being honest with ourselves, my Sacred Sisters, sometimes so have we).
To set the stage, I will provide some context.
I am a 57 year old Warrior Queen and I am the definition of success. That’s not self-aggrandizement, it’s just objective fact. I’m a physician. We could stop there. But I’ve risen to the top of my profession in my industry and am a recognized thought leader and author and public speaker. I am a retired army colonel. A battle-scarred leader of righteous wars. A dragon slayer and truth teller and change maker. I am a Fierce Mother. With my Divine Feminine Power I created life for 2 Goddess Daughters and God said damn you’re great at this mom shit so I’m gonna trust you with another one who’s bio mom ain’t shit. So I have, on my own, raised 3 Warrior Queens in the likeness of their Mama who are sooooo brilliant and badass and beautiful that I wish a small-minded man would try to limit these Sacred Beauties to a dress size. PuhLEEEEEZ. That is not the plot. I am a committed community servant. I volunteer my experience and wisdom to teach and mentor college students in a free clinic serving a mostly unhoused and destitute population - society’s rejects. We give them food and showers and we wash their feet and give them free healthcare which I supervise and model for kids who want to grow up to be doctors like me. My Warrior Goddess Daughters serve there with me, where we all practice the art of community and humanity and service together. I literally have given these people the shoes off my feet so they could walk the streets a little more safely. None of these things are who I am inside, but they are a byproduct of my True Self, which radiates and illuminates and is made of Love and Grace and full of forgiveness….but that does not mean I suffer fools.
The Man of the Hour is Brian. Brian here is, by all accounts, a mediocre (at best) attorney in Austin. He is possibly a halfway decent father. He has the great misfortune of living with THREE chronic, life-altering diseases. But these are not his fault and he is very forthright about them and he would like to find a good woman who sees past his…ahem…”limitations”…and love him for the wonderful man he is. Got it.
Now I am not on dating apps anymore and as I mentioned I do not suffer fools. I am a Warrior Queen who knows her worth and I am sitting on my well-earned throne and from that perch I observe. And what I have observed is that there are far too many small-minded men who have lost the plot and if you just wait for it, they will inevitably trip over one of two things: Their dick or their audacity. And often it is both. Every. Single. Time.
I first met Brian a little over a year ago on a dating app. Brian rolled up on me in the throes of divorce and TRAUMATIZED per his own accounting of the story. Now I do not personally know his ex, but I do my fucking research and when I tell you that our Sacred Sister is a drop-dead-GORGEOUS Warrior Queen who is a whole-ass JUDGE - I mean meeeeOW 🤩. Fucking Badass Black Goddess absolutely crushing it in this world wired to make her fail. I’m in AWE.
Brian says he’s traumatized by our Sacred Sister. Well it turns out that is because this Glorious Warrior Queen lost her goddamn mind when she caught this no count lying POS cheating on her. That’s right, the mediocre attorney with the…ahem “limitations” who just wants a good woman who will love him through his faults….CHEATED on our Sacred Sister. This small-minded man has lost the plot.
So when Brian rolled up on me with that Uhaul full of baggage still steaming hot all wrapped up in hubris, I respectfully told Brian he did not need a date, he needed a therapist. To his credit, he did go get a therapist.
6 months later, Brian rolls past me again talkmbout I’ve had 6 months of therapy and I ain’t crazy no mo. Now I am a seasoned therapy Warrior Goddess and I have about $100k in receipts and the battle scars to prove it, and I know when you’re 6 months into therapy, you ain’t even started unpacking the crazy yet. I told Brian good for you, keep up the hard work.
This past week or so, Brian rolls up on this Queen (me) once again, thinking this time he’ll convince a good woman to love him through his faults. Never mind the Badass Warrior Queen he was married to before but had the audacity to cheat on. He deserves an amazing woman. I’m an observant Queen, and I sat on my throne, entertaining this no count trifling small-minded man who has lost the plot, and sure enough…he tripped.
Brian has never met me in person, but we are facebook friends and he has seen plenty of photos of me. I’m a 5’11” Goddess and I don’t like to play these stupid beauty standards games designed to objectify women, but even at 57 years old, I’m objectively HOT. Brian, in his small-mindedness, unfortunately said the quiet part out loud when he boasted to me that he “only dates women smaller than a size 8”, which he felt comfortable saying to me because he assumed INCORRECTLY that I am at most a size 8.
Yes, my Sacred Sisters, you read that right. I’ll pause here while I let alllllllllll this sink in. I want to give you the time you need to summon your Feminine Fury and your Divine Feminine Power, that which cannot be tamed or limited by a dress size, that which creates life in your womb and sustains it at your bosom…..Go ahead and feel those generations of rage against patriarchy and small-minded men who have lost the plot. They think they can make themselves more powerful by containing us in a dress size or a beauty standard, but we are Queens and we are not having ANY of that buuuushitttt.
Brian The Average who cheats on his Gorgeous Goddess of a wife would like a good woman to see through his…ahem “limitations” and love him in spite of those things, but she had better be less than a size 8.
Brian has lost the plot.
I had had my fill of this fool and I unleashed my Feminine Wrath on him. I said what I said:
“It seems to me that when God robbed you of the ability to date Dick First, you could have chosen to become a better person. Instead I guess you just replaced your dick with your audacity. That’s the only thing that could allow a person to live with so much hypocrisy inside himself. Small minded men like you have LOST THE PLOT. Out of fear of Feminine Power, you have, for centuries, pitted yourselves against us instead of accepting your role in the natural order of things. You think that you can trap lightning in a bottle. Well you cannot. Your feeble attempts to rob us of our Feminine Power by trying to apply arbitrary parameters of clothing size do not limit our Feminine Power in any way. It just makes you look pathetic. You are the ones who are trapped - trapped inside your fear. Fear of not measuring up. Fear of not being good enough for us. Fear of our rejection. Fear that we won’t love you, in spite of and because of all that you are and all that you are not. This is where you’ve lost the plot. It’s not your job to measure up to us. It’s not your job to be “good enough”. You can’t. WE ALONE are the lightning. You cannot trap our Grace, our Radiance, our Strength, our Courage, our Fury, our Lifeforce, our Love in a dress size. It is not the masculine’s role to tame the Feminine inside a dress size or steal her power or dominance for himself. It is his role to be her rock and her partner, should he be so fortunate to live and bask in the glow of her loyal, fierce, powerful love. And then watch how He grows and multiplies and experiences power. You cannot trap this Queen, this Goddess, this Warrior in a dress size, and your audacity can’t hide your hypocrisy. You’ve lost the plot.”
And to his ex-wife, wherever she may be: SLAY QUEEN. We stand in solidarity with you, our Sacred Sister. You are so much better off without this trifling small-minded excuse for a man who has lost the plot. We pity him.